I think I've finally realized one of the reasons why I've been so unmotivated lately. It's not the only reason why, but one of the big ones, I suppose.
It's true what they say about the importance of surrounding yourself with people who you want to become more like. And for the last few years, I've been around people who were passionate about what they're doing... whether it's excelling in their studies, furthering their careers, working and honing their craft, be it music or something else, following through on their calling in life, you name it. Going back to school, teaching, spending a year on missions... all these communities were with people who showed me their passion for what they were doing in their life.
Since starting my own business though, I've mostly kept to myself... And I realize that slowly (or maybe, rather abruptly), I've placed myself somewhere where I'm not surrounded by those kinds of people.
I think I realized this as I watched a youtube video of some musicians who started playing together. It wasn't planned, but their synergy produced something that was mesmerizing to watch.
I also watched the teaser clip of the ex-Top Gear hosts new show, The Grand Tour. The chemistry between Clarkson, Hammond, and May made old Top Gear something magical... and the teaser clip showed me a glimpse of that.
And for a brief second, I missed that. I miss engaging with people who are figuring their life out and walking alongside them. I guess that's one of the big things that I miss about teaching. I miss seeing people who light up when they talk about what they're doing.
My schedule, for the most part, is restaurant work, which is repetitive in nature. Repetition is good in the restaurant biz... Cook well, make people happy, see them return. But repetition can also wreck the restaurant biz too. Becoming complacent can cause a chef to not push the envelope and become better. Or maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't know anymore.
I don't know how to break out of this rut. Maybe I should just drop everything and start from scratch somewhere else. The itch to do this has been big lately, but for other reasons. Hmm. Maybe part of not knowing how to break out of this rut is because I just don't see the point in doing anything anymore. Or again, maybe I just don't know what the heck I'm talking about.
Welp. Time to sleep. To wake up in a few hours. To do the same thing again. Hah.
